I talk a lot with my clients about making decisions that are right for them and for their highest good. When making a decision we must make it in the absence of negative feelings, such as - Fear, greed, guilt, wanting to please someone else or any other reason you can think of that doesn't come from a positive place. If you are wondering then, how do I make a decision that will be for my highest good? The answer alsways comes back to making a decision based on how happy it makes you feel. If the decision you are making is filling you with a spark of joy, or you feel excited about it then that is the decision for you. (Fears can come later, it's the gut feeling I am referring to.)
This can be a lot harder than you think to achieve, not because you don't know you own mind and you haven't felt what I am talking about. The problem often comes when you tell someone the decision that you are excited about. You might not have all the details worked out, but if you tell a friend, they often point out (in a very loving way!) all the reasons why you shouldn't do something. Maybe even you have decided to stay in for an evening and that is what fills you with excitement and a good friend asks you out to the movies. What do you do? This is why doing what is right for your highest good is sometimes as difficult for the big decisions as for the small decisions. The biggest thing to remember when you are making a decision for you is - BOUNDARIES!!
When you are excited about staying in for a night by yourself and your bestie wants to go to the movies that night and you don't feel like it, if you say yes, you are usually making the decision based on fear and guilt.
This is where we need to love ourselves enough to want the best for ourselves. If you make even the smallest decisions based on guilt (didn't want to let your friend down) or fear (they might think you are selfish or they might be mad at you) it will have negative consequences.
If you go to the movies, what will happen the next time that you want your friend to do something with you and they don't want to do it? More than likely you will feel resentful and hurt. Now you are in a cycle of victimhood and all this arises from not listening to your higherself and putting boundaries in place.
If you say to your friend that you have other plans (yes, staying in with by yourself is a legitimate plan) and you are sorry that you won't go to the cinema this time but will go another time, when it suits you both.
We cannot control how our friend reacts to this news nor should we want to. The more we do this and the more we pay attention to how we feel when we follow our gut feelings, the more content we will become. We must be content and happy within ourselves before we can be truly happy with anyone else.
Pay attention to yourself and bring your awareness to how you are with your friends and families and how you make decisions for you. It really is life changing for your health and wellbeing when you live your life with boundaries and expecting the best for your self.
If you would like help with this and would life have a session of Rahanni that can help release those feelings of resentment and fear. Please book an appointment. click the link below.