There comes a point in our lives when we suddenly ask ourselves - Who am I? What decisions did I make in my life to get me here in this exact moment. There are so many books that promise to help you find who you really are. How do we find our real or authentic self? We are not going to find ourselves by looking externally. If we were to ask our friends or family what they think, you would get it from their lens and their perception. We must be open to listening to what resonates with us (trusting your resonance), release what doesn't feel right and go back to the beginning.
Be brutally honest. How did you make the decision to do the things that you are doing right now. If the answer that pops into your head comes from a place of negativity, fear, greed, what was expected of me or anything like that, you might notice that you were never as fulfilled or happy. Making decisions from a place of negativity and fear will only lead to resentment, hurt, anger and more fear.
We have learned behaviours that we picked up from childhood. We learn how to deal with traumatic events by suppressing them or by whatever we felt was acceptible with in our family or society. We have ways to please people we care about. We alter how we act around people depending on how to get them to like us more. We start to neglect the feelings we have to make other people like us or to help them feel better.
When we get praise for helpling other people or for being really friendly we realise that this will give us approval and people will like us. Do you see how subtle that is within our lives but a lot of the time if you do something in your life for the sole purpose of seeking approval and to be liked, right there you have statrted to "loose yourself" you have based what you are doing on fear and control. This I can assure you will ultimately lead to resentment, hurt, anger etc.
If you stop and look at each and every decision that you make for a period of time, I assure you that the decisions that you are making that you are most unhappy with, came from a place of fear and the need to control what people think of you.
If you are reading this and it resonates with you, then you are at a stage in your life when you are seeking answers and a lot of the time there are more questions than answers. What I am about to suggest is - Turn off all the background noise. You might want to do this in stages but in order for you to figure out who you are and what makes you happy, you need to turn down the volume of - The News, newspapers, social media, friends/family opnions, gossip etc.
Through the lens of compassion and love for yourself start to pay attention to what makes you happy. Who are the people in your life that make you feel good about yourself. Pay attention to your initial feeling. After the initial feeling, your brain and reasoning kick in. When you strip it all back it is quite simple in its essence. You are the only person that can answer all these questions but you must start to trust your own feelings and what resonates.
Over the next period of time I will be giving tips and know how to help you figure out YOU! This is a work in progress for all and takes time. In the next blog I want to delve into "boundaries" and the importance of boundaries when you are figuring out the things that resonate with you and make you happy.
If you need some help with any of this, sometimes a healing treatment like Rahanni can help clear some of the old feelings of hurt and resentment to help you see things a little clearer and from a more compassionate and loving perspective.